Please don't confuse this pike with a pipe. You definitely don't want this dangerous weapon anywhere near your mouth. Perhaps instead, equip a few hundred of your minifig pals with their own Pike and go use your army to take out oppressive kingdoms. (Maybe with a beautiful blonde woman as your leader.)

Pair your Pike with a Thrall Shield. Protect your minifig face with a Rogue Hood or Head Wrap. Flip yourself upside down with a Dervish Blade.